


After the Battle

by Kibbers



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mistletoe, Pining, Some angst, it's all fluff okay?, life after the battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 09:32:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5580409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kibbers/pseuds/Kibbers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn has to figure out life on the base, now that he's free from the weight of battle and has a chance find out who he really is. Poe's there to help him make decisions, guiding him through this foreign world. But then Poe's distancing himself and Finn gets the hint. Back off. That isn't it though. Poe thinks he's taking advantage of Finn, depriving him of yet another choice, no better than the First Order. Leia decides to intervene to get these boys to stop being idiots and to find each other already.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Battle

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first Stormpilot fic, though not my first fic ever, so let me know how the characterization is and if I've royally messed up any Star Wars cannon stuff. I've seen them all once, but my memory isn't perfect, so things may have slipped through the cracks. Also, I've only seen The Force Awakens once so, like I said, characterization may be a bit off. Let me know what you think below?

After the battle, they’d gone back to the base heroes. Celebrations were held, a little too much alcohol running through their veins and too big smiles across their faces. And then, the celebrations calmed down after a few days and they all looked around, wondering what was next. Their enemy was defeated, for now, and had disappeared. So what were they to do now?

Leia let them rest, let them sleep and eat and get to know each other as they shed the soldiers they’d become in the heat of the battle. Poe’s laugh was no longer alone in the dining room, everyone else finally loosening up to let theirs ring through the room. They found friends, they found family, they found themselves now that they had time to.

Poe sat at Finn’s bedside day and night, waiting for the strongest man he’d ever met to wake up so he could find out who he was beneath his armor too.

Leia let that go too. While Poe was one of her best pilots, she knew how much Poe cared about the kid and knew how much Finn would need someone by his side when he woke up. Rey was gone, off to find Skywalker. The world was large and Finn would have no idea how to exist in it when it was no longer fight or flight.

She had them start training again, after a week, to keep them in shape and in line. Daily exercises were done, though most of them lacked the passion, the urgency that they had before. She knew that would change as soon as Kylo Ren or Snoke or another ill-intending figure arose. It was fine. She let it be. They deserved a little reprieve. They were good soldiers and good people. They’d be just as great when the time came.

Finn woke to find Rey gone, but Poe by his side, his leather jacket laid over Finn’s stomach and looking like it had been hand stitched back to life. It was odd. Back at home, or his old home, they never kept anything with damage. Not armor nor guns nor people. He was still here though, still being fed and taken care of despite his injuries, and so was the jacket. He frowned, but then Poe was beaming and grabbing his hand gentle and warm. That too was odd. Touching for no reason but to touch was not something he was used to.

“You didn’t let me die?” Finn asked, looking at Poe. Poe looked like a piece of him had broken. Something had. A piece of his heart splintered to pieces. Finn looked so confused, so hopeful and so very alive.

“Course not, buddy. Course not.”

“But, I’m hurt. It’s a waste of resources.”

“People aren’t resources, Finn. We like ya here, hurt or not.”

Finn blamed the tears behind his eyes on the pain and Poe called a nurse.

He let himself wake up to a world he hadn’t met yet. In small portions, helped by Poe or Leia or some of the other people at the base, he greeted this world and made it his friend. It was odd, not having the adrenaline of battle sitting heavy on his veins. But, it was nice.

Finn found out he loved sleeping in, loved the late morning sun, warm and soft and gold. He loved hot showers and hated when people didn’t say what they meant. It was hard enough when they did. He loved holding hands and the way Poe’s skin was soft, so very soft, beneath his fingers. He liked when Poe called him Buddy and Finny and Finn.

They were eating one day when Poe turned to him. “When’s your birthday?”

Finn frowned. “I don’t know.”

“How ‘bout we pick one, then? Together.”

Finn smiled and nodded. “How ‘bout the day you saved me? Flew us away from the First Order?”

Poe fought the anger rising, trying not to let himself think about just how much they’d taken from Finn. “You mean the day you saved me?”

Finn smiled. “Fine then, the day we saved each other. That’ll be my birthday.”

Finn found out more about himself than ever before, there on that base with Poe’s gentle guidance. His favorite color and what his laugh sounded like and how soft things felt so nice. Like Poe’s jacket.

He grew fond of Leia and the equally gentle way she unwove the tangled history he’d been taught as a kid, helped him sort out what actually happened from the brainwashing they’d forced on him. Taught him, after a while, about her son Ben too.

“You know him as Kylo, but to me he will always be Ben, the little boy with the practice lightsaber and the giggling laughter,” She’d said. She told him stories of his youth and Finn tried so desperately to let that overtake the rage-filled man he’d killed for. He tried for Leia, and for Han.

In the end, Kylo became something of a mix of the two versions Finn had known, a gray figure. That was fine. More often than not, Finn felt that way too.

Poe taught him about people, about how to be charming and funny and kind. The slang they used and how they used it. About friendship too. Finn hadn’t really known friendship before Rey and Poe. But, without the forced necessity of it before, he wasn’t sure Poe would want to be around him anymore. He did, though. He’d seek Finn out during meal times and in his bunk and on the training ground. They became a pair, FinnandPoe, to everyone. A pool started, rumored to have reached Leia even, on when they’d finally get together.

But, Poe wasn’t sure how to bring it up while staying neutral, the idea of a romantic relationship, and he didn’t figure the Dark Side taught their soldiers about that. It wouldn’t be fair, to give him skewed information. His feelings for Finn would bleed into it too much and then he couldn’t be choosing for himself. Poe knew how little Finn had gotten to choose for himself before and it wasn’t right to take this away from him. Not this too. He danced around it, dodged Finn’s questions and made himself scarce immediately after.

Finn noticed, boy did he notice, and he’d watch as Poe would leave, go strike up conversation with someone else. The tall blond girl with the limp or the muscular guy whose eyes would crinkle when he laughed. He’d watch and know that Poe was not interested, not even in discussing it with him. He accepted that and resorted to asking other people. A question here, eavesdropping there. He pieced together the modern day dating ‘rules’ and tried to keep them straight in his head all the while Poe filled his brain.

After he realized what he’d been doing and what it all meant, he changed his ways. He was less likely to grab Poe’s hand anymore, careful not to touch him as often even though Finn loved the way his hand was rough beneath his own, or the way goosebumps broke out on his skin when Finn let his fingers drag across it. He hung Poe’s leather jacket in the back of the closet and though he loved it, how it smelled like Poe and felt like his own, he left it there more often than not. He didn’t think Poe noticed.

Poe noticed, how could he not? The jacket seemingly no longer suited him, though by no opinion of Poe’s. Instead, Finn wore all black, and Poe accepted that, trying not to let his eyes linger on the way the cotton shirts framed his chest or the way his pants hugged his ass. He noticed the smiles falling from Finn’s face when he thought Poe couldn’t see him, saw Finn start to talk to others around them more and more. Sometimes Finn ran with the skinny guy with the golden hair and Poe hid his disappointment deep down. Finn was not his, so the loss he felt could not be. He would not let it. He was happy that Finn was growing acclimated, he really was. So, he ran with someone else and came by Finn’s bunk only three times a day instead of five. When they were together, hanging out or eating, though, Finn was all smiles and bright eyes and Poe’s heart would strain in his chest. He was just so damn pretty and so damn radiant; Poe couldn’t not fall in love with him, just a little.

One night, they’d been talking and talking and talking about nothing, passing the time until they grew tired and their eyelids drooped. Finn had woken up hours later, Poe’s soft hair splayed against his chest. He wanted to run his hands through it, let his fingers scratch against Poe’s scalp, just wanted to see if it was as soft as it looked. And he gave in, just for a moment, let his fingers run through Poe’s hair. It was as soft as it looked, Finn found, and he never wanted to stop. But then Poe had woken up, and he’d disappeared like magic. Finn knew what that meant. Back off. He got the message loud and clear.

He stopped eating with Poe, stopped being in his own bunk unless he was sleeping or changing his clothes. He found a new sparring partner and kept running with the skinny blond. If Poe was that repulsed by Finn, he wouldn’t hang around to disgust him. He thought maybe he loved Poe and he just couldn’t hang around long enough to know for sure. It would hurt too badly to let it happen.

Finn didn’t notice the dark cloud that had set in over Poe, but everyone else did. The way he turned his mouth down at the corners more often than up. The way he hardly showed up to meals, hardly left his bunk at all. When Poe would catch Finn’s eye, Finn would beam and wave, and it only broke Poe more. He’d turn tail and find somewhere else to be. When he’d woken up, head on Finn’s chest and so very warm and comfortable, after having slept the best he’d slept in years, he’d panicked. Finn didn’t know what he was doing. It wasn’t fair to take advantage of him like that. He made himself scarce and gave Finn the room to make his own choices for a while. Poe couldn’t help the nagging that he’d taken away that opportunity, being so close for so long.

Leia canceled the bet on base and pulled Poe aside after two weeks of his moping.

“You doing okay?” She asked, having made him stay after a meeting they’d had.

Poe let his eyes wander as he stood at attention. He nodded.

“I can see you drowning, Poe.”

“‘M fine, ma’am.”

She was silent, studying him. “It’s not against the rules, if that’s what has you keeping distant.”

Poe didn’t say anything. He already knew, he’d checked weeks ago. That was the first sign he needed to give Finn space. He’d already been planning their relationship and it hadn’t even started.

“But if it’s that dumb brain of yours telling you he deserves better, tell it to shut the hell up.”

Poe let out a small laugh at that.

“You’re not taking advantage of him, alright? We all start somewhere and I’ve heard from some of your squad that he’s been asking questions to get everything sorted for himself.”

Poe wasn’t quite sure he knew what she meant, but he nodded anyway and waited until Leia dismissed him. He had no way of knowing how much Finn had figured out, how much he knew about the dating side of life here on base. It, in his mind, still wasn’t right. He kept his lips shut and his door too. Finn didn’t come knocking, though he stood in the hallway fist raised too many times to count.

Finn finally got the hint and it hurt. More than he thought it would. Was it worse never to see Poe anymore? Not see his smile nor hear his laugh? Or was it worse to be so very near him and not be able to touch? To close that gap between them? Finn didn’t know. One was blankness, a missing piece, the other a presence he was all too aware of, trying to shield his eyes from the sun. Neither worked. Both hurt. He tried not to let it show.

Leia saw, though, she always does. She talked to Finn one night she caught him out of bed after hours, a frown on his usually smiling face as he zombie walked the hallways. Seems they both needed each other to smile again.

“Want to talk about it?” She asked, leading him to the command room and sitting him at the table.

He shook his head. “Not really.”

“Can I ask you something, then?” She draped a blanket across his shoulders. He hadn’t realized just how cold the base got, this close to a holiday they called Christmas. It was weird, something he’d never heard of, but Leia had wanted to do something to cheer everyone up and decided they’d celebrate Christmas on base. The whole time it was explained to him, Finn thought about how much Poe would’ve liked to see the trees strung up with lights outside, maybe even from above in his fighter. Thought about what he would’ve given him. _ Everything _ , he thought. He would've liked to give Poe everything. Finn nodded to Leia.

“You figured out how it all works around here?”

“You asking me if I’ve had the sex talk?” Finn laughed.

Leia shrugged. “Just making sure you know everything before you find yourself in a foreign situation.”

“Don’t worry, there’s no chance of anything happening anyway. And yes, the other soldie- friends, I mean, have told me all about it. Plus, it’s not like Stormtroopers don’t have sex. We-they, are people too.”

Leia squeezed his shoulders and let him stay as long as he wanted, staring at the holographic map of the galaxies he’d trained so many hours to destroy. All he wanted now was to see it, all of it, with Poe. He went back to his bunk wanting to cry and forgetting it was allowed to now that he was here. Poe wasn’t around to remind him, either, so he held it in, feeling like he was breaking, until he fell asleep.

The day they had their Christmas celebration, Leia had decided she’d had enough of those two heartbroken boys bringing down morale and made a plan. Someone hung mistletoe, the idea behind it ‘nonchalantly’ explained to Finn, and the boys were called to the command room over the loudspeaker, Poe first. Leia kept him chatting, thanking him for everything and wishing him a merry day while her ears strained for footsteps in the hall. They grew close and she dismissed him. In the doorway, they brushed shoulders and made to slide past each other, each with their heads down and sadness weighing them down.

“Hold up, Mr. Dameron. Mistletoe,” she said when he turned around, glancing up at it, “I don’t make the rules.”

_ Son of a bitch. _

People gathered, people watched and waited as the pair looked up and processed the connotations of it all. Poe looked at Finn. Finn looked at Poe. This was the longest they’d been together in weeks and it was intoxicating.

“Do you know-” Poe started.

“Yeah.”

“This is ridiculous. I’ll just kiss your cheek and we can move on, yeah?”

Poe leaned in, but Finn was already surging forward and Poe found himself met with warm lips and Finn smelling like sunshine and leather beneath him. Poe froze, part of him screaming to leave before he taints this man, but then Leia’s words filtered in and he kissed Finn back, letting his hands wrap around him and pull him closer. Poe pulled away to find Finn beaming at him all sparkling eyes and radiance. He smiled too, warm and singing, and startled when he felt leather under his fingers. Finn was wearing his jacket again. He let his fingers play with the collar, quirking his eyebrow.

Finn blushed, looked down at the floor. “Smells like you.”

Poe surged forward, backing Finn against the doorframe and kissing him, bodies pressed together and fingers roaming.

“Take it somewhere else, boys. This is a family celebration,” Leia laughed. They broke away grinning and pressed their foreheads together.

“Sorry,” Poe whispered.

“For what?” Finn asked.

Poe shrugged. “I left you.”

“No,” Finn said, fingertips running across Poe’s cheek before brushing a piece of hair that had fallen into his face. “No, you didn’t.”

Finn pressed a kiss to Poe’s cheek and let their hands tangle together while their makeshift family called out ‘congratulations’ and ‘finally’ and rolled their eyes at the absurdity of it all. Finn and Poe understood. It was absurd to them too. But with Poe’s hand in his, Finn didn’t much care. He was happy. And finally, finally, he’d found a home. One he got to choose for himself.


End file.
